Happy Birthday

Today is my mom's birthday and wish her all the best on this day and every day!

Anyone who knows me also knows I have a hard time with this. I wasn't raised by my mother I was raised by hers. And my grandmother is a special person in her own right and I am thankful she did raise me or who knows where I would of ended up and with who.

A day like today makes me wish we were closer!

My daughter and I have a close very meaningful relationship and can't imagine not talking to her everyday, whether on the phone or on-line. Funny if we don't talk everyday it is a call to make sure everything is alright. And to be part of my grand children's lives is just absolutely awesome! Who ever hasn't experienced the love of a grand child, hang-on because it is a life changing experience. And to not be a part of their lives would hurt me beyond anything I can imagine. Now for those that have randomly fallen upon my blog you probably are not understanding what I am really talking about. For my friends, you know how deeply I have been hurt in the past with my lost relationship with my mother and wish we could be like normal families. And I wish she would open her heart to her great-grandchildren.

Fences need to be mended is what some might say, well who should mend them is my question, and how come it never really gets mended. I am not a forgiving person and if you know me you know this to be true, I can hold a grudge for a very long time. And I also can be punishing and yes I will punish you with my words and actions. I believe all actions have re-actions. I will always take responsibility for my actions and don't have a problem to apologize if I am wrong or done something to offend. I will not change I am who I am, take me or leave me.

Kind of sound nasty don't I? Well maybe I am, sorry for that. It is a sore spot for me.

But hey life goes on, babies are born and people die. Always find it a shame that so much family is only seen at a birth or a death. We embrace a birth of a new baby and we cry at the death of a loved one, but what about the in-between when we should be celebrating being here and having family to talk to and spend time with. It shouldn't be the only time we talk is to celebrate or to mourn.

Well it is the weekend again and Donkey is golfing again. I think he likes it, even though he always comes home complaining about his golf game. Practice makes perfect. He should be getting pretty good by now. I kid, he hasn't really played that much this season, has been working like a mad bee around the house, and you sure can see his accomplishments in a big way. Who knew retirement for me would keep Donkey outside working, I knew I should of retired years ago.

Today is a chilly day and I should be outside cutting the grass and doing some yard work, but thinking it isn't going to happen, maybe tomorrow, not in the mood to cut grass. And with it being Friday I don't have to cook dinner either, what a lady of leisure I am. Should run to the store and get some bon-bons and relax with a good book. Okay twist my arm that is probably exactly what I am going to do. Tonight my neighbor is coming over for some wine and hot tub, will be a nice end to a long week.

Sorry I started my post today being so full of self pity, but days like today just makes me want so much more, oh well, not going to happen, so I will have a few glasses of my favorite wine and probably a cry tonight and tomorrow will be a new day.

Have a Happy Weekend everyone and I will ramble to you next week.

love and hugs